I really want to save my marriage, but nothing I try seems to work!” If that sounds like the thoughts you’ve been having lately, don’t worry, you’re not alone. Whether it’s due to well meaning bad advice or just reacting on emotion, there are thousands of us who’ve made mistakes that just end up pushing our partners farther away. Once you have an idea of where you might be going wrong, though, you have a much better chance of healing your marriage.
Pressuring your spouse!
It’s all too easy to do when you’re stressed out, but threatening or guilting rarely help matters. One of the most common forms of pressure is begging. You may not get down on your knees and wail, but if you’re pleading, crying, telling your spouse you can’t live without them or that they’ll destroy the kids’ lives, it still amounts to emotional blackmail.
Another thing to avoid is trying to pressure your spouse into counseling. Instead of pushing, appeal to logic. For instance, you might say something like “Considering all the time we’ve invested in each other, isn’t it worth a few hours of counseling to save that?
Apologizing too much!
There’s nothing wrong with apologizing for mistakes you know you made, especially when you have a plan to help you keep from making them again. The problem comes in when you apologize for things you didn’t even do. It sounds insincere at best and mocking at worse. It also makes you look desperate, which is hardly attractive.
More importantly, it doesn’t solve anything. Accept your responsibility for 50% of the problems and acknowledge that you have some issues you need to work out together, but if you mean it when you say, “I want to save my marriage,” don’t take more than your fair share of the blame.
Jumping to conclusions!
Even if you’ve lived with your spouse for decades and think you can read them like a book, you cannot read their mind. Don’t assume you know how your spouse feels and why they feel that way. After all, it’s possible your spouse has been burying certain emotions about your relationship or unrelated events in the past that are interfering with the present.
Dishonesty!
Needless to say, lies do nothing to build emotional intimacy. Whether you’re hiding your feelings, facts about important events in your past, or your financial details, it all goes to drive a wedge between and your spouse. I’m not talking about those little white lies like “No, honey, I don’t think you’ve put on weight.” There’s plenty of room for those. What I mean is something that has an effect on the relationship beyond the next 30 seconds like lying about your needs in the bedroom or for time to yourself.
Waiting and hoping!
This is probably the biggest mistake of them all, yet it’s also the easiest to fix. So many people wait and hope things will work themselves out eventually. In the meantime, you and your partner are growing farther apart and any resentment only grows deeper. Marital problems don’t solve themselves anymore than they cause themselves. To save a marriage that’s headed for divorce, you need to take concrete action now.
If you’ve heard yourself say “I want to save my marriage!” a few too many times, it’s very possible you’re making some of the mistakes most couples make when their marriage hits a rough patch.
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
I Want To Save My Marriage What Am I Doing Wrong
Posted by Marie's World of Blogs at 11:58 AM 0 comments
Labels: how to save a marriage, how to save my marriage, how to save your marriage, save marriage, save my marriage today, save your marriage, tips to save a marriage
Sunday, March 20, 2011
How To Save A Marriage 5 Things You Can Do Today
Have you been looking for advice on how to save a marriage, but can’t seem to find anything more than vague tips about learning communication skills, not criticizing, forgiving each other? Well, sure, those things are great, but there’s a lot you can do today to make things better. While most of these steps for how to save a marriage take some time, they’re all things you can start doing right now.
Have a cooling down period!
Whether your spouse has just told you they want a divorce or you’ve been talking about it for a while, a cooling down period will do you both some good. Take about a week to get away from each other and gather your thoughts. This is no time to make a laundry list of your “future ex’s” faults, though! Instead, focus on remembering why you fell in love with your spouse in the first place and think through some calm, respectful ways to address the problems when you see each other again.
Work on your own issues!
Yes, you have issues, too. Sorry. And these aren’t just issues between you and your spouse, but issues related to any emotional baggage you brought into the marriage, too. If you’re taking a cooling off period, that’s a great time to work on these problems, although you shouldn’t expect to resolve any deep issues in such a short time.
Keep in mind, too, that you need to be careful about assigning blame, especially if your spouse has been violent or verbally abusive. While many therapists who understand how to save a marriage will remind you it “takes two to tango,” don’t start thinking you “made” your partner act a certain way.
Resolve conflicts!
If you’ve already taken your cooling off period and given some serious thought to how you might be contributing to the conflict, set aside a few uninterrupted hours (read: get a babysitter) to talk things over. If it seems like you always end up in shouting matches every time you try to work things out, you might want to do this in a marriage counselor’s office. A neutral third party knowledgeable about how to save a marriage can really help keep things sane so you can make some real progress.
Spend quality time with each other!
Not spending enough quality time together is often what starts marital problems in the first place. Then once the marriage is really on the rocks, you spend more and more time apart. Fortunately, it’s an easy trend to reverse. Find something you both enjoy doing, as long as you can chat with each other while doing it, and schedule a time for the activity at least twice a week.
Be Patient!
Most truly useful advice on, "how to save a marriage", won’t give you quick fixes that you can get done in one day, but a lot will give you tactics you can at least try out right away. Whether you think you need a short break from your spouse to ease tensions or you just need to focus on each other a little more to keep things from really falling apart, there’s always something you can do today to get started in the right direction. The important thing is to take action now and not waste
any more time hoping things will get better on their own.
Posted by Marie's World of Blogs at 11:54 AM 0 comments
Labels: how to save a marriage, how to save my marriage, how to save your marriage, save marriage, save my marriage today, save your marriage, tips to save a marriage
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Who Can Help Me Save My Marriage
Feel like you’ve exhausted every option you could think up on your own and you just want to storm into some marriage counselors’ office as shout, “Help me save my marriage? Please!” Except for the shouting part, you’re actually on the right track looking for advice from some place other than your own head.
Friends!
If you have any friends who’ve managed to dodge an impending divorce, ask them how they did it. Don’t just think about friends your age, either. Older couples can be a goldmine of advice on working through marriage troubles.
Even if they seem to have a perfect relationship now, you might be surprised to hear what they’ve gone through. Of course, the problem with asking friends for advice is their experience is limited to what worked for them. What worked for them won’t necessarily work for you, though.
Online forums!
The Internet is great place to find information on just about everything and marriage is no exception. The advantage of getting advice from forums is that you can ask questions anonymously and get opinions from a variety of people who’ll most likely have very different view points from you. The drawback is that you won’t get a truly useful response from one “help me save my marriage” post. The lack of real-time interaction means you don’t get the back-and-forth dialogue you’d need to really get to the root of your problems and find a workable solution.
Marriage counseling!
It’s one of the first thing well meaning friends ask when you admit your marriage is on the rocks: “Have you thought of counseling?” There’s good reason for that. A professional marriage counselor has training in resolving marital conflicts and many years of experience working with different types of couples and problems.
The trouble you usually run into here is that one spouse doesn’t want to go. Usually, that partner believes the marriage has already flat-lined and any attempt to revive it is a waste of time and energy. If you’re partner feels that way, don’t give up just yet. While you want to avoid pressuring or begging, simple logic can work wonders.
Counseling can help, of course, but it’s not a cure-all. Did you know the average marriage councilors’ success rate is only around 30%? That’s hardly enough to make it worth shouting “Help me save my marriage!” at the counselor.
Self-help books!
If you’ve been looking online for tips, you’ve probably run into a few of those ebooks that provide guidance for working through a rough patch in a marriage even when one partner is ready to call it quits. They may not seem like much, but in reality, the best of these can be surprisingly effective.
Most of these plans were developed by highly experienced marriage counselors who found a “formula” for what works, so they usually have a success rate higher than that of most marriage counselors.
Whatever you do, don’t delude yourself into thinking the problems between you and your spouse will disappear of their own accord. It’s not enough to sit and wonder “Who can help me save my marriage?” You need to decide where you’re going to go for sound advice and act on that advice as soon as possible. The longer you put it off, the harder your problems will be to solve.
Posted by Marie's World of Blogs at 11:49 AM 0 comments
Labels: how to save a marriage, how to save my marriage, how to save your marriage, save marriage, save my marriage today, save your marriage, tips to save a marriage
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Free Effective Marriage Counseling Advice Online - How To Get It!
In reality, marriage is one of the most difficult tasks to handle. Problems and quirks are normal things to encounter in marriage. However, couples still choose to stay in the bond of marriage so save the holy matrimony. But some couple are not able to handle things well, so they definitely have to seek help from the authorities. Who are these authorities?
One way to seek help is to ask advice from marriage counselors. They are considered the doctors in terms of marriage problems. As you know, marriage is very important especially when there are kids in the family. So it is important to hold on to the relationship.
One among though things to handle is marriage. If a problem arises between the couple, at least one should be concern about how to solve it. One should seek the solution and one among the most effective solution is to seek for advices from the marriage counselors.
It is good for someone in the relationship to be educated about how marriages are handled. One way to educate self is by attending the sessions about marriages. You can also open up you problems so the counselors will give you advices on how you can handle your marriage problem well. You should only listen carefully so you would know how to deal with it correctly.
Marriage counseling is a form of confrontation where in the topic is all about marriage. it is normal for couple to experience difficulties in marriages, this is why counselors are willing to help them with their concerns. Counselors can be a good help to these couples by listening to their problems and giving out advices in which the couple should follow in order to maintain a good and harmonious relationship.
You should also take into consideration the credentials and qualifications of the marriage counselors that you are going to relay your problems on. Of course, to convey trust you must know the background of your counselors. From this you will know that the counselor you will be handing over your problems are professional and will sure help you with your marriage problems.
You can also look for counselors that give free marriages advices. There are many marriage counselors online can help you with your concern but will not ask anything from you.
The online marriage counselors will also discuss to you the different traditional arguments about marriage. if you cannot afford to pay for a therapist, you can use online marriage counseling to solve your problems with marriage. the only problem with this is the lack of live activities.
Online marriage counseling is very new in the net, so regulation should be established first. However, it can be a great help for those who want to seek for help but do not have much budget to spend. Everyone with marriage problems can log on to the particular site and seek help.
Counseling is one of the effective ways to save marriages. Free online marriage counseling is made available for you so you do not have to worry about paying dollars on therapist just to help you seek solutions to your marriage problem. The important thing is the self involvement. You should have faith and be patience to live a happy married life.
Posted by Marie's World of Blogs at 6:25 AM 0 comments
Labels: great marriage, healthy marriage, marriage advice, marriage counselling, marriage crisis, marriage help, marriage issues, marriage relationship, marriage relationships, save marriage, save my marriage
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Does Marriage Counseling Work?
When considering marriage counseling, it's difficult not to wonder whether seeing a marriage counselor will actually work. This article provides some objective information based on data obtained from a national survey of marriage and family counselors and their clients. Also presented are several interesting opinions provided by individuals who have actually been through marriage counseling and were asked to comment on whether or not seeing a marriage counselor proved effective in helping their relationship.
An honest marriage counselor would agree that the motivation of a couple may be the single most important factor in determining the success of marriage counseling. It's unlikely that even a brilliant counselor would be able to save a marriage where one spouse has already decided upon a divorce, and a mediocre marriage counselor can probably help a couple who are utterly committed towards making their marriage work. With this in mind, research has been made in an effort to determine, on a more scientific level, the effectiveness of couples counseling.
In an article published by Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, clients of marriage and family counselors from 15 different states reported on their experience with counseling. The findings indicated that marriage and family counselors treated a wide range of issues in relatively short-term fashion, couple and family therapy are briefer than individual therapy, and that client satisfaction and functional improvement are quite high.
[*] Specifically, of clients from 526 marriage and family counselors in 15 different states:
98.1% rated services good or excellent
97.1% got the kind of help they desired
91.2% were satisfied with the amount of help they received
93% said they were helped in dealing more effectively with problems
94.3% would return to the same therapist in the future
96.9% would recommend their therapist to a friend
97.4% were generally satisfied with the service they received
63.4% reported improved physical health
54.8% reported improvement in functioning at work
73.7% indicated improvement in children’s behavior
58.7% showed improvement in children’s school performance
[*] Excerpted from "Clinical Practice Patterns of Marriage and Family Therapists: A National Survey of Therapists and Their Clients", Journal of Marital and Family Therapy--Volume 22, No. 1
While the above study provides raw data that supports the effectiveness of marriage and family counseling, a very interesting discussion on the question "Does Couples Counseling Work" from a public forum devoted to this topic offers a less clinical, but still positive view. Based on what seems to be a very honest and frank discussion among couples "who've been there," the answer to the question of whether or not marriage counseling is effective is a positive one. Read these posts on the Berkley Parents Network.
Regardless of the studies and opinions which seem to support the effectiveness of marriage / couples counseling, there are those who question it's effectiveness. An article on the about.com portal, had this to say:
The science of marital counseling is being studied in great detail these days. Research is showing that it is not as effective as people think, that women seem to get more from it than men, and that it might not have a lasting effect on the couple's marriage.
What type of couple gets the most from couple therapy? The answer is young, non-sexist, still in love, open couples.
Which couples receive the least from therapy? Some factors that can make couple therapy unsuccessful include couples who wait too long before seeking help, and often one or the other is set on getting a divorce and is closed to any suggestions that may save the marriage.
Excerpted from the marriage.about.com portal
Unfortunately, the data supporting the above-mentioned research is not specifically cited in the article. The article seems to imply that couples who seek counseling because they want their relationship to work are more likely to succeed with marriage counseling than are those who enter into counseling with the (perhaps hidden) truth that they already want out.
Posted by Marie's World of Blogs at 6:24 AM 0 comments
Labels: better marriage, christian marriage counseling, good marriage, marriage blog, marriage enrichment, marriage information, marriage questions, marriage tips, perfect marriage, protect marriage
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Considering Marriage Advice For The Newly-hitched!
There’s a big step from engaged to married. It’s not just exchanging rings and wedding vows, it’s exchanging one lifestyle for another. Even as an engaged person you had a certain independence that meant you had some space of your own. There was a part of your day or night that you were your own person. In a marriage this more or less disappears completely.
No matter how much freedom you have in your marriage, how flexible the boundaries – you still have to remember that there is now someone else that you must keep 100% in your life-loop! If you’re going to be late from work, you need to make sure your husband/wife knows. If you aren’t going to be home for supper, they need to know. If you aren’t going to be able to get the dry cleaning on the way home, and it’s needed for the next day, they need to know so they can go get it! This is a major life change. At first it feels as if you are back answering to your parents! You may even rebel against the idea. But think about it for a moment. Your husband/wife always walks through the door at 6.52pm – give or take 4 minutes. You have supper waiting on the table. At 7.20pm supper is cold, and they still haven’t arrived. 8.25pm when they walk through the door, you’re halfway through dialing the number for the local hospital because you’re sure something’s happened to them. They smile and apologize for being late but they got caught up in a last minute meeting. No thought to the anguish you’ve been through picturing them hurt or worse! You don’t want to be the one feeling this way, and so make sure you don’t do the same kind of thing to your beloved! Letting your partner know your schedule is a sign of consideration. Of acknowledging that this other person cares about you and will worry if you are not where you’ve said you’ll be at the time you said you’ll be there.
Gone too are the days when you could say “Sure, I’ll come for pizza tonight!” to work colleagues without even thinking about it. First of all you need to call your partner and tell them that this is what you’re planning, and making sure that they’re ok with it. Yes, I know, too bad if they aren’t, but they may have made other plans for the evening that you don’t know about and so it is worth checking first!
Consideration for your new husband or wife is the first and most important aspect of your marriage during the early days because it’s the thing that’s most difficult to adjust too. Is your music too loud? Does your partner want to watch a different channel? Do you take all the blankets in bed? Do you snore? You don’t check these things because you benefit, nor as a partner would you usually complain about them, but you do them because you want your marriage to be a partnership with two equal partners. If you argue about something, find common middle ground. There should be no power struggle if both parties respect each other enough to accept that both people are entitled to hold differing viewpoints. Don’t back down from confrontation, don’t press forward your advantage, be considerate towards each other and negotiate a situation you can both agree to.
In the early weeks and months of marriage, you’ll find many things new and sometimes not exactly the way you thought they’d be, but if both parties add consideration to their menu of love, trust and respect, then married life will soon settle down and you’ll become accustomed to doing things without resentment or obligation. You’ll do them because you want too.
Posted by Marie's World of Blogs at 6:20 AM 0 comments
Labels: great marriage, healthy marriage, marriage advice, marriage counselling, marriage crisis, marriage help, marriage issues, marriage relationship, marriage relationships, save marriage, save my marriage
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Common Marriage Problems : Neglect
It is so easy to work your life away, forget about your family, your partner and your relationship. People putting work before family is such a common marriage problem that seems to pop up time and time again.
It’s ok for a while, your partner will understand that you need to put some time and effort into your career especially if it generates a good income but as time goes on and the ‘W’ word pops up again and again, even if your partner enjoys the benefits of your efforts, all patience fades and the realisation sets in that work is more important!!
I used to know a couple who spent most of their life apart. He worked nights and she worked days. She enjoyed spending the money that night shifts generated, loved new clothes, new cars and all the little luxuries a comfortable life style brings but hated her partner being tired when he was at home. They were between a rock and a hard place with him knowing that if he gave up nights bang went the luxuries and more than likely bye bye wife but if he carried on working nights and striving for promotion he was dead in the water anyway. What a choice. Needless to say they never reached a compromise, she wasn’t willing to wait for the promotion and a return to day shifts, so they are no longer married.
Working excessively long hours, travelling a lot and constantly leading separate lives is bound to put a strain on your relationship and it has proven to be a real relationship killer, a common marriage problem that is prolific in the ‘career’ society. Just look at the number people that are addicted to long unsociable working hours and then see how many of them are still married.
I’ve only ever met a handful of couples who are truly comfortable with, at best, a weekend relationship and these are couples that have learned and are happy to live independent lives. The problem in their relationships will come when the long hours and travelling comes to an end and they have to learn to live with each other 24/7.
How many partners spend their whole life at work, rarely seeing their children and having little time for their spouse? Their partners so often feel neglected, crave adult company, and as time goes on, the neglected partner’s cries go on ignored the relationship begins to wither and fade and the couple tend to grow apart.
When children are involved it is even more difficult with just one partner having to make sure they are around. That they are the ones there in the mornings and there in the evenings and that they alone have to revolve their whole lives around children and school. Again this pressure on one partner is all too common, a marriage problem that seems to be ignored by spouses who tend to avoid their responsibilities under the misguided understanding that their partners can and are happy to cope.
Those early years, when your children are growing up are very special and are years that can never be recaptured. They aren’t years that should just pass you by at your desk under the false impression that next time your child wants you it will be different, you just need to clear this project and then the next and then the next….. It’s never any different.
Children struggle with the concept of work being more important than them and what is going on in their lives. They are too young to understand the concept that their parent is just short sighted, perhaps confused as to what should take priority in their lives. Money doesn’t mean much to a child.
When work takes over your life, no matter what you best intentions are, if your vision isn’t understand and accepted by your family and they aren’t 100% behind you all of the way they will learn to resent the time you spend at your desk rather than with them. They will feel abandoned, unwanted and unloved.
If you want to revolve your life around a work driven environment you must make sure that that your partner has the same all consuming driving ambition. If either one in a relationship feels that work has taken over the family life it is time to sit down and discuss what is important in to you both. Consider the issues, understand the feelings on both sides, think about the children and work out what is best for the individuals, the relationship and the family as a whole.
Catch this common marriage problem before it develops into something more serious don’t loose your family over something you probably will learn to regret, save your marriage before it’s too late.
Posted by Marie's World of Blogs at 6:15 AM 0 comments
Labels: christian counseling, couples counseling, failed marriage, marriage in trouble, premarital counseling, relationship counseling, save a marriage
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
5 Tips to Keep a Marriage Exciting
The buildup to the wedding is so exciting; making arrangements, laying out a plan for your future lives together. But after the honeymoon ends, life begins. And while you may have the most wonderful marriage, even the most devoted couple is certain to find the married lifestyle to be at times, well let’s say, less than exciting. I mean let’s face it, you love the other person, but spending all day with the same individual makes for a lot of routine activities, that if you are not careful can drag on your relationship and make you both feel unsatisfied with what is otherwise a very loving relationship.
As a result, it is vital that couples not simply sit back in the belief that a marriage will remain exciting merely on its own momentum. Rather, it is important that spouses take some basic steps to infuse their relationships with a bit of excitement.
1. Have Independent Interests
You cannot have anything interesting to say if you spend every waking moment doing and experiencing the same things. Having independent interests is not a sign of a weak marriage, as some newlyweds believe, but rather a sign of its strength. Having independent interests means that you have something unique to bring to conversations, ensuring that you both always have something interesting, and yes exciting, to say to one another.
2. Spontaneous Events
While you were dating, planning the spontaneous event seemed rather innate. But, as we grow comfortable in our relationships and more busy by life’s obligations, we have a tendency to rely upon the strength of our relationships and in so doing fail to keep things spontaneous. So to mix things up; plan an afternoon or evening event that is completely new. Try that show your spouse has been dying to see, or visit that new restaurant that just opened up.
3. Never threaten separation
This is less a rule to keep things exciting, and more one to keep them sound. A relationship can only grow and remain exciting if both parties are confident in their commitment to one another. As a consequence, make it a rule between you and your partner that you never threaten separation or divorce. Establish an understanding that if you threaten separation, you should be heading out the door to back it up. It is a harsh rule, but one that needs imposition if your relationship is to survive the ups and downs which are a part of all marriages.
4. Weekend Trips
One sure-fire way to inject some romance into your marriage is to take a vacation with just the two of you. But with the rigors of life and the costs of a trip, a full-blown vacation can seem hard to justify. So instead opt for a one night local vacation. Plan a dinner and evening out, and cap it off with a night in a hotel. The expense isn’t a lot considering the excitement that a trip, no matter how small, can bring into a relationship.
5. Spice up the bedroom
The final tip to bring excitement into any relationship is to spice things up in the bedroom. Your sex life has a strong correlation with the strength and satisfaction of your relationship. So try exploring a new position or even a sexual fantasy or adult toy with your partner, and in so doing share something intimate and bring some excitement into your marriage.
Posted by Marie's World of Blogs at 6:12 AM 0 comments
Labels: great marriage, healthy marriage, marriage advice, marriage counselling, marriage crisis, marriage help, marriage issues, marriage relationship, marriage relationships, save marriage, save my marriage
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Advice To Keep Your Marriage Healthy
Advice for a good marriage can in some cases seem a little obvious, but in a lot of cases it can seem like just the advice you need. When you are involved in a long term relationship, sometimes it's hard to see the wood for the trees, and it takes only the most basic advice for us to see what is wrong. Check this article out for more information.
Advice for a good marriage 1
The best piece of advice is to be honest with yourself about when it is and isn't working. If you kid yourself that everything is fine when it isn't, things are hardly likely to get better-in fact you will usually notice things getting steadily worse. The sooner you spot and admit to problems, the sooner you can move past them. Half the work is done as soon as you admit something is wrong, so don't be afraid.
Advice for a good marriage 2
Learn to communicate effectively. Too often relationships degenerate into accusations and fighting as the default method of interaction. Can you honestly hope for things to last if that's how you both behave? If you have something under your skin, sit down and talk it out. Talking about things sensibly rarely makes things worse-unlike accusations and arguing!
Advice for a good marriage 3
Understand that you can't fix the problems in your marriage solely fixing your partner's behaviour. A marriage is exactly that-the joining of two people-so it's not healthy to make one person do all the changing and adapting. This will not lead to a healthy relationship. It's much better to sit and talk it out and then work out how you can both make things better for each other. It's also a lot easier this way, as each of you will usually only need to make small adjustments to keep the other happy.
Advice for a good marriage 4
Learn the difference between being in love and falling in love. When you fall in love, the person can do no wrong and people are able to behave in ways that their partner may not necessarily agree with in a normal state of mind. That's why it can take work to stay in love-the love is still there, but you can't expect to act however you please and for it to still be there. Love is like a fire, it sometimes needs to be tended to make sure it still burns.
Advice for a good marriage 5
Understand the principles of marriage karma-you get what you give, so if you go the extra yard for your partner and prove yourself to be kind, caring and considerate, the chances are they will act a lot more like that toward you too. Think about when you see couples that are really in love-it's rarely just one of them doing the kind things is it?
Hopefully this advice for a good marriage will help you out. Check out the links below for some great information on fixing your marriage for good.
Posted by Marie's World of Blogs at 6:09 AM 0 comments
Labels: better marriage, christian marriage counseling, good marriage, marriage blog, marriage enrichment, marriage information, marriage questions, marriage tips, perfect marriage, protect marriage
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Can You Save Your Marriage?
How to save your marriage is not exactly the same for one person as it is the next. It's true that in most cases a marriage can be improved with a few simple steps, but the amount of improvement varies from marriage to marriage-check out these tips to help get your back on track...
1. You need to get the communication back. Communication is usually one of the first things that dries up in a problematic marriage, and that in itself leads to a lot of other problems. To help you both communicate more effectively set aside a certain amount of time each day to share with each other. During that time, talk over your days and ask questions of each other. Find out what it is that made you want to communicate with each other to begin with. After a few days of doing this you should find your communication skills are beginning to come back for each other.
2. Spend some quality time together. It's a little bit of a cliché, but a nice trip or a few days spent outside your usual relationship area can do wonders for you both. Even better, if you can make trips or activities like this a habit, as it will help you learn how to interact with each other in a fun and loving fashion again. These days it's all too easy to let our communications boil down to the bear minimum, so try not to let this happen.
3. Brush up on your listening skills. Sometimes when you get to know someone so well, it's almost as if you feel you no longer need to engage them or listen to them in conversation. If you can become a better listener you can prove to your partner that you are engaged in their life and that you respect their opinions. Is there anyone that doesn't want that? Simply by starting and actively participating in conversations with them you will be strengthening your bond, and you'll notice your partner is more interested in you too.
4. Don't let the finance ruin the romance. Life can be very tough when money is an issue in a marriage. Financial problems are often ongoing and unlikely to be solved in short order, so it's a great idea to develop a set of rules for you both. If you both abide to a pre-conceived idea about how you will take care of the finances, the problems and arguments should be minimized.
5. Make it fun. A marriage should be in place due to the amount of fun you have had with each other at some point. If you've removed the fun and replaced it with the mundanity of everyday life, how can you possibly expect the marriage to survive? It's an excellent idea to have some activities or hobbies to get involved with together-these can very easily become “your” way to spend time and have fun with each other.
As you've seen, the answer to the question “how to save a marriage?” varies widely from relationship to relationship, but hopefully you will find something of use in this article. Check out the links below for some great marriage advice.
Posted by Marie's World of Blogs at 5:53 AM 0 comments
Labels: great marriage, healthy marriage, marriage advice, marriage counselling, marriage crisis, marriage help, marriage issues, marriage relationship, marriage relationships, save marriage, save my marriage
Thursday, April 2, 2009
Homemade Anniversary Gift Ideas
The gift shop and wedding gift selections are now available in your home. Instead of hours trudging the malls, fighting traffic and shopkeeper’s attitudes, relax and let your fingers be your guide. Cyberspace shopping will increase by 40 billion this year alone as secure shopping gives you the same peace of mind as if you had used your credit card in person at the mall.
Online shopping allows you a greater selection for the gift-giving occasion. If you are looking to buy a wedding anniversary gift, including the 25th anniversary or just an anniversary celebrating a milestone in your life, you will be pleased to find the endless variety of shops available to you on the Internet.
Be creative, buy unique, something special, what would they like? These are the plagues of shopping for a wedding anniversary gift. After all didn’t we exhaust those options when we bought the wedding gift? Now the couple has given you time to observe a trend of preferences such as gourmet cooking, crystal collecting, home décor, or healthy diets. These tips concerning their new life together can be the clues that help you select a perfect gift to make that 25th anniversary special or any anniversary a fond memory.
If you find that the special date fast approaching and an anniversary gift is needed most online wedding anniversary gift shops can deliver the gift to your door or the recipient's door within 3 days for a regular postage fee or overnight if you really forgot the anniversary.
Nothing is more exciting than to have the mailman deliver a package to an unsuspecting couple. There is jubilation when FedEx or UPS comes knocking at your door with a gift set surprise, a culinary delight or just the perfect table presents to set the dining ambience for the couple’s impending pleasure.
Look for a website that includes a telephone number and a money back guarantee. Wedding anniversary gift giving doesn’t have to be drudgery; you will find the ease of shopping online so convenient that you will start every gift-giving occasion with a spin on the Internet. You are now free to join the celebration. Happy anniversary!
Posted by mariefelipe at 8:47 PM 0 comments
Labels: free wedding anniversary poems, homemade anniversary gift ideas, one year anniversary gift for boyfriend, wedding anniversary gifts, wedding anniversary verses
Saturday, March 14, 2009
Plus Size Wedding Dresses Or Petite Dresses?
Brides-to-be need to consider the comfort level when buying the wedding dress. If the dress causes you extreme discomfort; then expect all dances at the reception be that of a waltz, heaven forbid should you take to the floor to do the hippy shake. Keep in mind that if the dress is tight it can hamper your circulation causing you to faint.
Styles of wedding dress/gown selections can be chosen personally from a bridal shop. Magazines are also a good choice for making your selection and for gathering some useful tips on wedding plans
An important factor that has to be addressed is body types. Petite to pleasantly plump figure shapes will definitely need to be taken into consideration when making that decision in what will or will not suit your frame. Either way regardless of size the right choice will have you looking beautiful on the day. To find the perfect wedding dress is to be prepared to make a day of it where the trying of many will be in abundance.
Common sense prevails when buying the perfect wedding dress online, because of the way the purchase is to be handled, it is a good chance that you only get to see the dress by photo so be sure to check measurements and be specific when asking details on the condition of the dress. Another important factor is to double check on the person selling before going ahead with any transaction involving money.
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Posted by mariefelipe at 1:12 AM 0 comments
Labels: cheap wedding dresses, mother of the bride dresses, mother of the bride poem, plus size wedding dresses, wedding dresses for men
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Wedding Reception Decoration Ideas For Seating Plan
Do you know what it takes to create great wedding reception decoration ideas for seating plan? You may think it is, but it can easily become quite complicated.
To begin your wedding reception seating strategy, you have to know how many tables you will set up at your wedding reception, as well as how many chairs will be at each table. It is easy to find out. Just contact your wedding reception venue. In addition, ask for a chart of where the tables are placed at the wedding reception.
Don’t begin on the seating plan until you know how many tables and chairs at the tables you have to work with. Contact the wedding reception facility and make sure to ask for a chart of where the tables are located. The reception venue may be able to provide you with blank seating charts. The seating chart should be prepared months before the wedding, but you shouldn’t finalize it until a couple of weeks before the big day.
Place card holders are attractive decorations and functional accessories. Use place card holders to help your guest find their seats. They provide a great way to help your guests with the seating. Place card holders enable your guests to quickly find their seat. Each card should contain the first and last name of each guest.
If you are having a large wedding reception, creating the wedding reception seating plan can be a source for conflict between you and your family. You may want your friends close to you and your mother may want one of her friends closer than you would like. After dinner, some tables may need to be taken down or moved, so don’t seat very old guests at these tables.
Seat family members who don't see each other often to help them catch up on the latest family issues. Don’t force people to seat with people they don’t like. You should only seat family members together, if they enjoy each other’s company. Seat an even number of guests at each table.
If you know of a guest that enjoys dancing, make sure you seat them close to the dance floor. To avoid possible fights, divorced parents should have their own tables far away from each other. Seat them separately with their respective family members.
Keep small children next to their parents, a separate kids table could quickly turn into chaos.
Don’t wait until the last minute to decide who should sit at which table, proper planning takes time. Seating should not be a result of decision made based on gut feeling. Planning proper seating is hard work, and it requires careful planning.
Monday, March 9, 2009
What Is Consider A Marital Property Can Be Discussed In Counseling
Know What Husband Cant Resist!!
With many marriages that end up with divorce, there is a great need for troubled couples to undergo marriage counseling even prior to the plan of holding the wedding. Study shows that in some way, the counseling experience clear everything about marriage including what is consider a marital property, and takes a vital part in the relationship of the couples as well as in raising their own family.
Counseling can save marriages and provide the couples enough space to explore themselves and the possible conflicts that they will encounter. It can also end up in arriving at a new understanding that will lead to a harmonious relationship.
In finding for the best marriage and family counsellors, you can follow the following pointers.
· Establish the issues within yourselves first why you are seeking for the help of the marriage counsellors.
This is very important for you to communicate with your therapist or counsellor properly. It is not good that when you are in front of them, that is the only time that you think of the things that you are about to consult the counsellor.
As much as possible, the counselor should be familiar about the issue you are about to raise beforehand.
· Choose a marriage counsellor whom you are most comfortable to work with, whether a male or a female counsellor.
This will help you to narrate and share everything that you need to say with your guidance counsellor.
· Find for counsellors that have academic degree.
The credentials that they possess differ. This will also aid you in determining the credibility of your marriage counsellor.
Usually, those with the highest degree are also the most dependable ones because they already pass through several learning about their course.
· Referral from your relatives and friends can also help.
In fact, they are the most probable resources that you can ask regarding the best marriage and family counsellors because more or less, they have experience working with them.
· You can research in the web.
Some counselors post information about themselves. You can do the research about them and make an evaluation whether they pass your own set of criteria.
Make the relationship of your future family a harmonious one. This will not only deal about you or your partner but also the rearing of your child. With counselling, you can make a right choice! Anyway, the best of all what is considered marital property, is the property of feelings within each other.
Posted by mariefelipe at 12:45 AM 0 comments
Labels: define marital property, division of marital property, future love predictions, marital property rights, what is considered marital property
Saturday, March 7, 2009
100 Questions Before Marriage Is Not Enough
Some people may think that 100 questions before marriage and marriage consulting before marriage is enough to make a relationship and a marriage workout. But if that's the case why are there so many unhappy marriages? It can be very hard to focus on the big picture when you are on the inside of a long term relationship, rather than when you are only in a relationship. So hopefully these tips can rejuvenate your marriage.
Advice for a happy marriage 1-
Communicate. A marriage is nothing without communication-and that doesn't mean arguing and snapping at each other all the time-that's not real communication. Communication means switching the TV off for once and sitting down and talking over your day, or letting your partner know in a direct way when there is a problem. A marriage is rarely harmed by some good direct communication.
Advice for a happy marriage 2-
Admit when things are wrong. During a serious relationship it can be very easy to let yourself gloss over things and make believe that everything will be okay. In truth though, if you do this you aren't being true to yourself, your partner, or your marriage. Problems in marriages are like snowballs rolling down a hill-it's easier to stop them early. Again, the easiest way to do this when a problem does arise is by simple communication between you both.
Advice for a happy marriage 3-
Know the difference between falling in love and maintaining a loving relationship. Falling in love can often be like being intoxicated, the subject of your love can do no wrong and all different areas of your brain are impaired due to your preoccupation with them. Unfortunately, this state rarely lasts past the first few years of marriage, so in many cases it's necessary to work together at maintaining a healthy and loving relationship.
Advice for a happy marriage 4-
Put a little karmic theory into your marriage-you get what you give, so if you do everything you can to make your partner happy, the chances are they will step up their efforts to make you happy. The more effort you expend making your partner understand how much they mean to you, the more likely it is for them to reciprocate.
Advice for a happy marriage 5-
Learn that mending a relationship doesn't mean mending your partner. A marriage includes you both, and so any issues or situations always include both of you. You can't fix things by modifying the behaviour of one person, it has to be a team effort. People aren't like animals, and you shouldn't have to “marriage train” your partner into making you happy. It's not fair on them, and it's not fair on you.
This advice for a good marriage can really help in the tough times, so I hope it helps you if you need it. Check out the links below for great info on fixing your marriage.
Find Out Everything Civil About Your Spouse To Be --- So You Will Not Regret Being Married
Posted by mariefelipe at 12:34 AM 0 comments
Labels: 100 questions before marriage, bridal shower games, marital compatibility test, mock wedding vows, wedding rehearsal speech samples
Monday, February 9, 2009
Marriage Compatibility Test - What If It Failed?
So you married your complete opposite, your relationship is stressful and the two of you can't even agree on what to have for dinner. Does this mean that for the rest of your life, you are subject to the painful battle of fighting over “your way vs. his/her way” unless one of you gives in? No! There is no need to argue over “who does what which way”. And most importantly, neither of you need to change who you are.
You're about to learn the two most important marriage saving tip that can drastically lower your stress with your spouse. If you understand what you and your spouse value in life, you can cut your relationship stress in half!
The first thing you need to do is talk with your spouse about the things you passionately believe in…or feel strongly against. it's better if you would go over again the stage where in you'll ask 100 questions before marriage. Get to know your spouse again in a different perspective by doing this. You can start by discussing the little things in life that bug you.
NOTE: Be sure to talk about the 'problem areas' in your marriage. That IS the point of this discussion after all. Give your spouse your perspective on 'hot topics' in your marriage which could be anything from punctuality, family values, religion, eating habits or even personal privacy.
The second thing is to give your wife a little more affection. Are you so busy in your work? Do you often forgot her/him? Take some time to have your own private hours together. bring him to a romantic restaurant or plan a romantic weekend getaway. if it's your anniversary, don't ever forget to give him/her something. It can be just free wedding anniversary poems or homemade anniversary gift ideas . But what's important is that you gave something and treat him/her special.
Whether you and your spouse's attitude are at both ends of the world, you can actually save your marriage and live a more happy life. Just follow the two steps mention above, and for sure your marriage will turn into your fantasy marriage.
Posted by mariefelipe at 10:18 PM 0 comments
Labels: 100 questions before marriage, free wedding anniversary poems, homemade anniversary gift ideas, marriage competibility test, romantic weekend getaway





